found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
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I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
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oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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