tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Small penises have feelings too.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
