but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize