dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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