I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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