Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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