Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize