I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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