shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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