I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
