i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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