I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize