My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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