dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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