I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
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At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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