the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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