Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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