Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
