Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
