Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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