ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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