oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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