Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
