New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ladies don't puke and tell
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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