I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
