Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
