they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.