Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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