Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
