we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
