If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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