I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
