They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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