Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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