Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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