Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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