Too much gin, very little bucket
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
