Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
