It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
