Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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