This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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