I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
