and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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