she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
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i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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