come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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