Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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