In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
