Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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