It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
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