You really coming over, don't trick.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
