Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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