a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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