Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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