i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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