In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize