Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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